I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
