You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
