if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
