Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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