Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
