Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
