she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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