I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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