I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
