i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
