you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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