my vag is so smooth its legendary
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
