So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
