I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
