I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Houston, we have a squirter
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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