Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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