Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
what day is it and did you see me today?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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