Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Fuck appropriateness.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
