i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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