IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
