he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
