Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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