we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
