i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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