I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
