I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
nutella sex= disaster
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I understand Curling. That high.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
there is puke in my bra ... again
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
