If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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