So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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