Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
