I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
