she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
