Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
