Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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