I can tuck mytits in my pants
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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