drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
