Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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