what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
