If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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