You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
