I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
