i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
