i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
