did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
