I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
