she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
