Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
