thus making me awesome and them whores
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
