its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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