Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
