Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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