Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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