Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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